Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
1.
If you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it
sounds like Pacman.
2.
That amazing moment when you drop your phone
but the headphones save its life.
3.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
4.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer,
why are there no hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
5.
3 Things you should never do after a breakup:
1.Listen to love songs. 2. Read old messages 3. Read their statuses, tweets or
updates.
6.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s
like a normal shower, but with me in it…
7.
If you ever want to know what you look like to
the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
8.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
9.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t
live long enough to make them all yourself.
10.
It is impossible to act naturally right after
someone tells you to act naturally.
11.
People tend to confuse bad decisions with bad
luck.
12.
Some people are like clouds. When they
disappear, it’s a brighter day.
13.
Sometimes even though you’re having a good
time, you can’t help but to stop and think about how much you miss the old
times.
14.
What’s another word for thesaurus?
15.
God has no Phone, but I talk to him. He has no
Facebook, but he is still my friend. He does not have a twitter, but I
still follow him.
Some More
Funny Updates :
§
It’s annoying when people try to tell you what YOU
said.
§
When you’re stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate
& Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
§
My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry.
§
I thought that we were going out to dinner, not out to
text.
§
When have the options on an automated phone system NOT
recently changed?
§
The quietest person in the room has bad breath.
§
It’s extremely frustrating when you spell a word so
incorrectly that even spell check isn’t able to help you out.
§
Lazy rule #35: If you spill some water, it will eventually
dry.
§
Nothing offends a person more than telling them that they
snore.
§
A lot of people tend to confuse bad decisions with bad
luck.
§
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have
thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
§
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that
most people die of natural causes.
§
OK, I’m getting out of bed in 10 seconds.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,9,9,9,9,9
§
Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer
letters!
§
Reasons why I’m still single: ✔ can’t date the
internet. ✔ can’t date my favorite celebrity. ✔ can’t date Facebook. ✔ can’t date
myself.
- Say it to my face, not through your status.
- A relationship isn’t determined by how many pictures
you post on Facebook.
- What’s the difference between you and a calendar? …….A
calendar has dates.
- I bet Rihanna and Chris Brown working together again
leads to some big hits.
- LIKE if you’ve connected a bunch of dry-erase markers
together and pretended it’s a sword….. but then it keeps breaking.
- Facebook is like school. There’s the cool kids, the
intellectual rebels, and there’s always a rumor going on.
- Life is a constant battle between my love of food &
not wanting to get fat.
- Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your
success.
- If only Facebooking burned calories :/
- Ever noticed how your funniness goes up by at least 73%
when you are around your best friend?
- Some things are so awkward to say, but so easy to text
message.
- A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she
doesnt get jealous when someone has your attention, it’s because someone
has hers.
- People who take pictures of them with tons of money and
post them on Facebook…………. have no money.
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